Maybe I've been reading and watching too many serial killer, murder, death type things recently.. It's caused me to have some really undesired dreams. They're not nightmares, just like, stories that I'd read, with me in them. And my friends. It's just weird. So I picked up an old Sarah Dessen book last night.. Hopefully the lovey, dovey, teen, chick lit will get my dreams back to more pleasant situations.
Anyways, so it's gotten me thinking a lot about death. not my own death - I honestly have no fear there, whatsoever. Yeah, I'd rather die peacefully in my sleep at an old age, or talking about Christ somewhere. Something like that. But if I were to die in a car accident or a health problem, or even as a hostage in a bank robbery.. It wouldn't be ideal, but hey, it was in God's plan, who am I to complain? Like I said, I haven't been thinking about that at all.
It's been my friends' deaths. I have my two circles of friends.
My friends that I know are going to heaven. The ones that I'll be sad to lose their company here. I will cry, I'll have holes in my heart, and less people to hug. I would love for me to go first, so that I don't have to figure out how my life will change and still honor God when I don't have my close group of friends around me. Maybe that's the coward's way out though, to want to be the first to die so that I can remain complete, but it'd make it easy on me. Their funerals will be bitter sweet. They really will be a celebration of their life here, and almost a jealousy for what they're doing then - they'll be in heaven! There will be happy stories and all of that.
Then I have my friends that are going to hell. That's really hard to grasp sometimes. That there are people that I deeply love here, that won't be in heaven when they die, hell is their eternal home. I don't know how I'll handle their funerals. I don't think I've ever heard of funeral where the pastor has said "they lived a selfish life where they didn't want to live for Christ, they decided to live for themselves, and are now in hell". I guess the only positive outlook those funerals can have is "don't end up like them, believe in Christ". I will be crying at those funerals, and they will be such different tears. I won't know how to comfort our other friends.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Monday, April 19, 2010
Dental Hygiene
So I went to the dentist today. I've never had a cavity, so I don't get nervous about the visit at all. I'm sure I may get a cavity one day, but in the meantime, I have no hesitations about the visit. Actually, I enjoy it. Mostly.
The only thing that generally bothers me is that they want to hear your life story. At least they make you think they want to hear it. And if you know me, I have no problem at all talking to people. I will talk and talk for hours about any and everything. The only thing that bothers me is how difficult it is with their hands in your mouth! Dentists must have had to take a class on "Mumble 101" so that they can try to understand you. And they do try. But it's still rather frustrating that I can't speak completely coherantly throughout the whole visit.
Anyways, today's visit was really enjoyable. Like, ridiculously enjoyable. I've been going to the same dentist my entire life. My mom went to the dentist when she was growing up. It's a family business, the dad was my mom's dentist, and now his son and his wife are the dentists. So they know us all. Anywho.. I can't believe I forgot about how Susan, the wife, had been so excited when I visited 6 months ago about how she had just asked Christ into her life. She was so excited then, and I completely forgot! However, she definitely hadn't! She was still completely thrilled about her faith. It was so amazing. I'm "used to" teenagers finding faith at camps or in the middle of a hard time, but man. Adults who develop a relationship with Christ are insane! In the greatest way possible! Susan kept talking about how she just wanted to make up for lost time. How she had wasted so much of her life as a Buddhist or being "nothing", that she wants nothing more than to give everything to God. That she wishes she weren't so busy, so that she could spend even more time reading her Bible. But because she can't read and drive at the same time, she listens to sermons in the car. And she was talking about how she has questions just bursting out of her about everything. And how she's researching the questions she has. And even like.. She's not happy with the church she's at. And it's not that she doesn't like the worship, or something like that.. She has questions, and the pastor isn't answering them. And not just is he not answering them, he's basically telling her that her questions are stupid.. And she knows that's not right. That her questions, as a new believer, or a believer at all, should be welcomed with opened arms, not looked down on like a child.
Anyways. It was just amazing to see how passionate she was. How she is so eager to learn everything she can. It was an awesome reminder of how we should be. The Jars of Clay song "Like A Child"... They say that I can move the mountains, and send them crashing into the sea. They say that I can walk on water, if I would follow and believe, with faith like a child.
Faith like a child, faith like a child, faith like a child..
The only thing that generally bothers me is that they want to hear your life story. At least they make you think they want to hear it. And if you know me, I have no problem at all talking to people. I will talk and talk for hours about any and everything. The only thing that bothers me is how difficult it is with their hands in your mouth! Dentists must have had to take a class on "Mumble 101" so that they can try to understand you. And they do try. But it's still rather frustrating that I can't speak completely coherantly throughout the whole visit.
Anyways, today's visit was really enjoyable. Like, ridiculously enjoyable. I've been going to the same dentist my entire life. My mom went to the dentist when she was growing up. It's a family business, the dad was my mom's dentist, and now his son and his wife are the dentists. So they know us all. Anywho.. I can't believe I forgot about how Susan, the wife, had been so excited when I visited 6 months ago about how she had just asked Christ into her life. She was so excited then, and I completely forgot! However, she definitely hadn't! She was still completely thrilled about her faith. It was so amazing. I'm "used to" teenagers finding faith at camps or in the middle of a hard time, but man. Adults who develop a relationship with Christ are insane! In the greatest way possible! Susan kept talking about how she just wanted to make up for lost time. How she had wasted so much of her life as a Buddhist or being "nothing", that she wants nothing more than to give everything to God. That she wishes she weren't so busy, so that she could spend even more time reading her Bible. But because she can't read and drive at the same time, she listens to sermons in the car. And she was talking about how she has questions just bursting out of her about everything. And how she's researching the questions she has. And even like.. She's not happy with the church she's at. And it's not that she doesn't like the worship, or something like that.. She has questions, and the pastor isn't answering them. And not just is he not answering them, he's basically telling her that her questions are stupid.. And she knows that's not right. That her questions, as a new believer, or a believer at all, should be welcomed with opened arms, not looked down on like a child.
Anyways. It was just amazing to see how passionate she was. How she is so eager to learn everything she can. It was an awesome reminder of how we should be. The Jars of Clay song "Like A Child"... They say that I can move the mountains, and send them crashing into the sea. They say that I can walk on water, if I would follow and believe, with faith like a child.
Faith like a child, faith like a child, faith like a child..
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