Friday, December 31, 2010

30 things about me to close out the year :)

I wrote this a few weeks ago on another site, and I kinda like how it came out, so I've decided to post it here.

30 semi-interesting, potentially boring, maybe informative things about me :)


1 - When we cleaned out my car after I totaled it, we found 5 cell phones in there. None were active, and only 3 were ones that I’ve personally used. I can’t remember where the other 2 came from.

2 - I have been studying and learning as much as possible about Mormonism recently. Not because I plan on converting to Mormonism, but because my heart has been aching for the people of that group of people. And by studying Mormonism, it has only helped me grow in my faith more and more.

3 - I will be perfectly okay with not having kids. If, for some reason, I physically am unable to have munchkins, I doubt it would phase me. Not because I don’t like kids - I love them! But I’ve always had a soft spot towards adoption. And the older I get, the more and more excited I get about getting closer to being old enough and stable enough to do so! I can’t wait to show abandoned kids my love, God’s love, and to just smother them in love and hugs. If it’s in God’s plan for me to have my own kids, that’s fine, too. But I am really okay with the idea of not having them.

4 - I’m not as attached to my cell phone as I used to be - and I love it! I let myself leave my phone in the car while at work (and I don’t go back to get it). I’ll put my phone on silent and upside for a few hours on Saturday. I let myself read a text, and not respond for a few hours. I’m enjoying disconnect a few times a week.

5 - My hiccups (that I’ve had for almost 9 years) go through phases. They never go away, but every few weeks they go haywire and happen at a higher pitch and more frequently.. And they hurt! It’s weird.

6 - I love one on one time with people. I’m a social person and I can do the groups and parties.. But I love the intimacy and connection when you get one on one time with someone. Whether it’s something that happens with someone once a week or once a year.. I love it.

7 - I get so happy when I mix my different groups of friends - I tend to call it “mixing my worlds”. There’s just something about mixing my church friends that I’ve known since birth and my school friends that I’ve known since elementary school that fills me up with joy! Maybe it’s cuz I kept them separate for so long. I used to absolutely dread the idea of one person meeting everyone from the other group.. But I love it now. Disneyland? Movies? Dinner? It can work in all situations. I just love it.

8 - Sometimes I say that I hate my hair.. But honestly, I love it. I know that I was extremely blessed with the hair I have.

9 - My sisters and I are a lot closer now than we ever have been. Even with Selah being married, we’re all close. There’s a chance she’s gonna be moving to the other side of the country shortly. Which will be weird, but I think it’ll bring all three of us closer.

10 - Speaking of moving.. I’ve been thinking quite a bit recently about what I would do if I moved somewhere.. And I’ve come to the realization that I will be completely fine no matter where I am. I love my friends, but I don’t need to live around them. I love my family, but we’re not around any other family living here, so getting together for the holidays and such isn’t a big deal. If I’m supposed to live in Florida or Indiana.. Or even China or Egypt.. I’m totally game.

11 - I wish I could sing. I love to sing. Love, love, LOVE it. But, I know I’m not good at it. I desperately wish I could. My friends tease me about it, but I love how singing worship songs at church as loud as I want is totally fine, though. You’re allowed to sing, no matter what, and God still loves it!

12 - I’ve almost always had one male best friend in my life at any given time. I know girls call each other “best friends” all the time, and I probably have more “best friends” than some people. But when it comes to guys, that title tends to only belong to one, maybe two at a time (and it’s normally only two because it’d be a church bff and a school bff). Cory, Harrison, Craig, and Phill. My only time since I was 13 without one was between Craig and Phill. These are four boys that will always, always have a special spot in my heart. Each friendship has been drastically different from each other, but they’ve all changed my life. And when I end up finding a guy to to marry, those four boys are going to be the ones that have helped me decide what type of guy I want him to be - for the good and the bad.

13 - Recently, I’ve decided to change what I allow myself to watch. I’ve always been pretty careless with it, because I’m not easily influenced and not I figure I’ve seen some of the “worst” stuff that’s out there, so nothing will be new to me. But, I’ve decided I don’t want that. I don’t want to watch anything that I’d be ashamed or embarrassed to tell anyone about.

14 - I am very picky with music. If I can’t understand the words, forget it! When I buy a new CD, the first time through I will sit there with the CD cover reading the words as it plays over the speakers. When someone tells me “hey, listen to this song!” the first thing I do is look up the lyrics on Google.

15 - I try not to be judgmental, but I’m not as good at the as I’d like to be. There are two things that I tend to be more judgmental at than anything else: tattoos and red hair. Because it’s harder to come up with 30 things, I’m going to add those as two more points.

16 - I can’t stand dumb tattoos. And not just dumb tattoos, but just tattoos that aren’t going to mean anything to someone in five years. Don’t get a tattoo because you’re heartbroken - it’s only going to constantly remind you of that person and then be something awkward to explain to your next significant other (because, believe it or not, you will get over the break up). Or negative tattoos. Why would you get something negative on your body forever? Maybe people forget that they’re permanent? Because laser removal is more and more common? I don’t know.. I just know that I spent years.. YEARS thinking about my tattoo. And I’m not just saying that. You can look at notes that I took in classes all throughout high school, and my design is splattered over notes everywhere.

17 - I’m only judgmental about redheads when they try and pass as a real redhead. I know that sounds dumb.. But don’t pretend. It’s really awkward when a fake redhead strikes up a conversation with me about being a redhead. You are not one, don’t pretend.

18 - My parents are the only people in both their families in two generations to have only been married once - amazing, huh? Both of their parents were/are divorced and remarried. All of their siblings have been married and divorced, and a bunch of them have been married and divorced more than once. Pretty insane and awesome. Just goes to show what can happen when your marriage is God-centered. They’re going on 31 years.

19 - I have no fear of getting divorced. I really don’t. Divorced is not in my vocabulary or mindset when I think of my future. And some people might call that naive or a pipe dream, but I’ve seen marriages that have flourished, and I’ve seen marriages that have failed, and they all have one thing in common - God was not at the center of their lives. The wife might be living a godly life, and the husband might look it.. But if the husband cheats, that’s not a God centered marriage because he wasn’t focused on God. Or a lot of the time, a divorce will happen because it was grounded in faith (or the right faith) from the get-go.

20 - I didn’t go to prom and I only went to one winter formal in high school. And I remember being told at the time that I would regret it. It’s now four years later, and I still have no regrets about not going. My friends still talk about the drama that surrounded every single one of those events.. And guess what? I had no drama! I had fun with the people I decided to hang out with those nights instead! I wish people would tell high schoolers today that the four years in high school (socially and stuff) really won’t affect you for life. We spent 7 years in elementary school, that didn’t affect us for life. The 4 years in high school didn’t either.

21 - I am extremely protective of Phill. I think it’s entertaining. He has pretty much no emotion about anything that happens to him, yet for me it’s horrible. He puts up with me (although he doesn’t call it “putting up with”), and I am forever thankful for that boy.

22 - I am convinced that the people in the Philippines are the nicest people in the world. When I went there last January, my eyes were opened to how the default expressions of Americans isn’t a smile, and how the people in the Philippines is! It was such a pleasant surprise!

23 - I’ve been loving learning about Jehovah’s Witnesses and Catholicism in college group recently. Much like my #2 fact, it has just helped me grow in my own faith. I was shocked that I knew more about Catholic theology and practices than my friends that claim to be Catholic.

24 - I’m not a holiday person. More specifically, not a Christmas person. I blogged about it last year, you can read it here :)

25 - I love Disneyland. I hate going to Disney with an odd number of people though - no one wants to sit on a ride alone! I’m fine with going to Disney for just specific things: I just want clam chowder in a bread bowl, I just want to ride Pirates, I just want to see Fantasmic. Harrison and I used to go to Disney every single Wednesday and just ride the train for hours and hours and talk.

26 - I wish I could visit Mr. Baker at La Quinta still.

27 - I have this fear that the guy I end up marrying will be one of the few guys in the world that can’t wait for a huge wedding. I want to elope. I really, truly do. I’ve never dreamed about the long flowing dress or the flowers and the location. If anything, I’ve only ever hyperventilated over thinking about who to pick as bridesmaids, what style dresses, what type of food, etc. I just want it to be me, my man, and whoever can make it to Vegas with 24 hours notice. But what am I going to do if the guy is an only child and his parents have been waiting for his wedding day forever? And they have 489 people to invite? Do I want to start out on the wrong foot with the in laws? Hopefully my guy will have the type of relationship with his parents (and me) to be able to remind his parents (in love), that the wedding is our day, not theirs, and if eloping is what we want, it’s what we’re going to do.

28 - There are quite a number of people that I would love to delete off of Facebook and Twitter because of how negative they are. I might love them in real life, but virtually.. I want to strangle them.

29 - I love to read. When someone asks me what I want for Christmas or my birthday, my default choice is normally a gift card to Barnes and Noble or Borders. My friend Ben worked at a used book store for a couple years, and I regret not taking advantage of his awesome discount the whole time! I have a Kindle that used to come with me everywhere, but my Kindle now syncs up with my laptop, Blackberry, and iPod Touch, so I don't have to use the actual Kindle all the time. Basically, I have books with me all the time because of Amazon :) I went through a phase when I couldn't put these books by a certain author down, so I'd even read them while I was driving (hah! The government takes my texting away, but they haven't taken away my reading!).. But after a few close calls, I quit that habit. And now I have a lot of books on audio which is a beautiful, beautiful thing. Basically, I love reading. And when I can't read, I still want to read, so I listen to someone else reading :) However, I'm horrible at reading assigned books. I was the queen of Spark Notes in high school, because I hate being forced to read. I think that's why so many kids hate reading, because they've been forced to "read for 30 minutes every night" since elementary school.

30 - I don't know what I want to do with my life, but I would love to end up (fifty years down the road or something) in the mission field. Even if that's where I'm supposed to be in 3 years, 10 years, I'm totally game. I remember this thing we had to do in like, 5th grade where we had to write down things about "where I'll be in 1 year", "where I'll be in 5 years", "where I'll be in 10 years", and a few more. I don't remember what I wrote for 10 years (I think the two "earlier" predictions were something along the lines of "high school"), but I remember saying that "I want to retire and become a missionary". And I drew a picture of the world with two people holding hands, standing on the world, symbolizing that they were game to go anywhere they were called to go. I'm so game.

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Monday, December 27, 2010

Atheist, Agnostic, or just plain lazy?

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. We watched a video called "Collision" at college group a few weeks ago which was a video that involved the huge atheist Christopher Hitchens and leading theologian Douglas Wilson talking. It wasn't rude or a debate, but just these two guys talking about their faith (or lack there of) all over. In bars, taxis, schools.. It was really interesting. And then for the past few days, I've been listening to the book A Case for Christ by Lee Strobel on my iPod. I'm not all the way through it, but I highly recommend it for any atheist, agnostic, or even Christian. It's amazing! Lee Strobel was a reporter who was a major atheist. His wife became a Christian, and he noticed a giant change in everything about her, so he decided to investigate. He goes from theologian to theologian (8 in total, I believe) with boatloads of questions about Jesus and the Bible and a ton of other things.And these theological scholars have answers. And they're proving that the things in the Bible are true even if you're looking at it from a worldly perspective. That it's not just all made up stuff.
And since it's Christmas, I always wonder what a non-believer thinks of Christmas. I have plenty of "atheist" friends who exchange presents and get into the holiday spirit and sing Christmas carols.. But do they even know what they're celebrating? Do they really think that it's just a random day in December that everyone gives gifts? Christmas isn't about "time with family" and traditions and presents and snow.. That's all stuff that has come about because of Jesus and what Christmas is about.

Now Christmas is over.. And I'm still thinking about it.
According to dictionary.com..
Atheist: a person who denies or disbelieves the existence of a supreme being or beings Agnostic: a person who holds that the existence of the ultimate cause, as God, and the essential nature of things are unknown and unknowable, or that human knowledge is limited to experience
Now.. Can people really deny the existence of God? Have they seen the world? Have they seen doctors declare someone surviving a horrific disease a miracle? Have they experienced happiness? Have they experienced pure joy? No, they haven't. Because real, pure joy happens when you're glorifying God, and if you don't believe in Him... No joy.
However, I do find it entertaining how people will claim that they do not believe in God, but.. As soon as a catastrophe happens. As soon as a loved one dies. As soon as something happens that they don't like.. Then it's God's fault.

I think people just choose to take on the title of "atheist" or "agnostic" because they're too lazy or selfish. They don't want to put aside their selfish life style. They don't want to make the effort of looking into the possibility of Christ.
I have never met a Christian that has regretted their life as a Christian. I've met plenty of non believers that regret so much in life. That all they see is the negativity.

There's just such a difference between someone living their life for Christ, and living their life for themselves.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

I Will Rise

I go through phases when something will just be on repeat over and over and over in my head. A line that resonates trough out my heart and soul. And sometimes it's a Bible verse, sometimes it's a line from a sermon, and sometimes it's something from a worship song.

All I've had the last few days is "And I will rise when He calls my name. No more sorrow, no more pain". And it's funny, because it took me a few days to place the line. It even had a tune and everything to it. I thought maybe I'd had a musical moment and just thought of an amazing song! But no, Chris Tomlin beat me to it. :)

There's just something about this song. I get this image in my head of people all over the world, going through their daily lives. Getting coffee, sitting in class, in a meeting for work, talking on the phone.. And then God just calls their name.. "John." "Karen." "Sam." And with no hesitation, and nothing more needing to be said.. They just rise and go. I get goosebumps when I think about it.

When it's God calling you, why wait? Go. Run!


I Will Rise - Chris Tomlin

There's a peace I've come to know
Though my heart and flesh may fail
There's an anchor for my soul
I can say "It is well"

Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead

And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise

There's a day that's drawing near
When this darkness breaks to light
And the shadows disappear
And my faith shall be my eyes

Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead

And I hear the voice of many angels sing,
"Worthy is the Lamb"
And I hear the cry of every longing heart,
"Worthy is the Lamb"


Sent from my iPod

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Friday, December 24, 2010

The White Kids.. <3

Okay, I know it's 4 in the morning, but I just got home and I don't have work in the morning so I have no qualms about sleeping in today :)


This is a picture of 6 of the people that have known me the longest. They've known me forever! Let me give you the run down.

The far left is Danny. I've known Danny since 2nd grade. He's the youngest of the group, but only by about two months.

The lady with her arm around Danny is Stephanie! I've known Steph since 4th grade, although we've technically known each other since way before that because her old baby sitter is my neighbor.

The guy in the purple shirt is Nick (he's actually the reason we're all together, it was for his birthday). We all met him our freshman year of high school, but I tend to forget that because he fits with us all so well!

The girlie in front of me is Aileen, but everybody calls her Mae. I've known her since 1st grade, and then I went to another school from 2nd through 6th (where I met everyone else), and we were reunited in 7th grade. We've always called each other our "BFF from first grade until forever!"

Michelle is to the right of me! I've known her since 2nd grade! She was definitely one of my first friends that I made when I switched schools, and we've been friends ever since!

And the last one is Harrison, a.k.a. Ono, a.k.a. Butthead, a.k.a. Loser.. All said with love, of course. I met him in 5th grade, and then proceeded to be in love with him for the next few years (hah! I wasn't the only one..).


Anyways..

We've been affectionately nicknamed "The White Kids" by several people.. Which is funny, because actually, Michelle, Steph, and I are the only full white people.. The rest are all either half or not at all.. Lol

We've had our ups and downs of a group. And some of us hang out more than others - do you know how hard it is to line up 7 people's schedules when we all either work, go to school, or do both?? Some of these guys I see almost every week, and then others I see only every 6 months or so.. But it's always kinda fun to get together. And we rarely ever have ALL of us together! We were all together at Nick's first party at his apartment back in September, but Mae and I were leaving right as Michelle walked in the door, so we weren't really all together. However, on the way home, I was kicking myself because we'd missed the photo opportunity! So tonight, I was determined to get a picture!

And we did. And I kinda think it might be my new favorite picture.

Like I said, we've had our ups and downs (oh the drama that we had in high school!), but us girls will always be sisters, and the boys will always be what completes us into being one dysfunctional family. And I heart them very much <3

Here's some more pictures of us over the years..

6th grade - June 2001

8th grade trip to Washington DC - Spring Break 2003

9th grade Winter Formal - February 2004

Hawaii trip - November 2006

Grad night - June 2007

Watching LQ Band Camp preview - August 2008

Monday, December 13, 2010

It's such a girly predicament..

When I'm having a "blah" day or moment, my reaction is to shut down. I don't like to talk about my problems with everybody and their mother. And I won't just talk about it with just anyone who asks. In fact, if the wrong person asks, it just enhances my mood even more.

I know it's weird, and it's not right. But that's my reaction. Always has been.

You would think that maybe, just maybe, I should just let everybody (and their mother) know that they just need to not ask me what's wrong. "If I want to tell you, I'll talk to you about it. I appreciate the sentiment, but honestly, don't worry about it." However, I can't do that.

1 - Because it's rude. Someone's concerned (whether out of sincerity or out of awkward obligation), and I'm not going to tell them to leave me alone.

2 - It's not true. I don't want everybody to leave me alone. I don't. I want almost everybody to leave me alone. And I know who I want to ask me. Well, actually, it depends on what is bothering me as to who I want to ask me. I have my typical 5 people that I want to ask me. Unfortunately, most of them are guys. And (yes, I'm being sexist here), most guys are horrible at recognizing these things. Or they recognize them, but forget that since we're girls, we do want to talk about it. Or forget that (yes, we're being difficult) if you ask us "is something wrong?" and we say "nothing".. There's a really good chance there really is something, but we want you to ask us again (unless you're dealing with Jenna, who has told me that it takes 3 times for her to typically come clean). Not because we want you to catch us in a "nothing lie", but because I think we mentally want to make sure you really want to know. Anyone can ask and take whatever answer you give them.. But when it's one of the people (at least for me) that I really do want to talk to about my issues.. I want to make sure you really want to know, and aren't just asking because you think you should. Girls tend to be pretty observant on that stuff. Which can be a blessing, and can be a pain.. But most of the time it is definitely a blessing :)

I know, it's girly. It's dumb. It's annoying.

It's actually something I've been working on the last year or so. Phill has this (for lack of a better word) rule for us: complete honesty. And I know that sounds dumb.. Because we should all be completely honest. But how often are we asked simple questions (like "how are you?" or "do you like this shirt?") that we bluff a quick answer ("I'm good, you?" (as you were fighting with your mom on the way to Starbucks) or "it's super cute!" (as you mentally think of 300 shirts you saw at Good Will that look so much better)) without thinking of them as lies, more as "fillers" because it's expected, and it's the easiest answer.

We've all done it.

Anyways, with this "rule", that's not an option between us. And it was annoying at first. Not because I "couldn't lie" - the truth is always better! - but because I was catching myself, or he was catching me, all the time. Mostly about "what's wrong?" type of questions. The "rule" also applies to starting a story, then realizing you shouldn't tell the story, so you say "nevermind". Yeah, I don't get away with "neverminds" anymore. It all comes out now. Which, like I said, was annoying, but I've gotten very used to it.

Where in the world was I going with this..

Oh!

So I've started (not necessarily on purpose, just out of habit, which isn't a bad thing) applying this rule in all aspects of my life. When someone asks how I'm doing, if I'm doing great, I tell them! If I'm having a blah day, I say that "things could be better, but it will be okay"! If someone asks me what I think of an article of clothing that I'm not particularly fond of, I'll find something good to say about it.. Normally along the lines of "That's not my taste, for me, but I think it works for you!", because it's true. If it's a guy, I can normally just straight up tell them I don't like it :)


I don't know why I felt compelled to write this. I had a blah day, but I'm okay now. That's probably why.

Okay, that was a lie. I do know why I wanted to write this. Because I was frustrated that a boy didn't read my mind today to figure out what was going on with me. But that's not his fault, it's my fault. And I should have brought it up instead of fuming over him not knowing I wanted him to ask me - twice. :)

It's such a girly predicament. And it's no one's fault but mine.

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Wednesday, December 08, 2010

Netflix.. You confuse me greatly.

This greeted me on the home page of Netflix Watch Instantly today..

And I honestly have no clue as to how Arrested Development and The Office would imply that I would enjoy VeggieTales, Scooby Doo, and Super Mario Brothers.

Anyone? Cuz I don't get it..

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Tuesday, December 07, 2010

Interesting articles

I'm lying here in bed, watching Wizard of Oz as my background noise while trying to drift off into unconsciousness.. And I got distracted and started reading through some of the blogs of some of the awesome Christian speakers of today.

John Piper

John MacArthur

Al Mohler

CJ Mahaney


And I've decided to post a link to some of the articles I enjoyed reading..


Bankruptcy in the Cathedral - Al Mohler
(My take on the Crystal Cathedral's bankruptcy can be found here)

It's God's Will That You Suffer for Righteousness' Sake - John MacArthur
(Intriguing to me because I wrote about suffering recently, too)

Marriage Outside the Faith? The Logic of Christian Marriage - Al Mohler
(Some facts on why marrying outside your faith is bad, other than because you're not supposed to be unequally yoked)

Pornography - The Difference Being a Parent Makes - Al Mohler
(I like that this shows - kinda sorta - Steve Jobs' paternal side)

The Submissive Wife - John MacArthur
(I've written on this before, too. There's nothing wrong with a man being in charge!)

Questions to Ask When Preparing for Marriage - John Piper
(I thought this was interesting! And something that everyone should read, even if they're just in the dating or predating stages of a relationship. Because it's stuff you can keep in the back of your mind as you're getting to know each other)


That's just a few of them :)


And for the record, I've definitely started writing three blog posts in the last few days, and I haven't finished any of them.. So I'm proud I'm finishing this one :)

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Friday, December 03, 2010

Arrested Development

I live this show, oh so much.

And I just the "theme and characteristics" of the show (based on Wikipedia) and it's completely true, but I'm glad I fell in love with the show before I read it, because it sounds much worse than it is.

"The show focuses on the tension that developed among the members of the Bluth family, primarily from their diminished spending power. Each show pulls from a mix of sibling rivalries, unresolvedoedipal conflicts, sexual incompatibilities, personalidentity crisesadolescent trauma, aging, pride, miscommunication, lying, guilt, subterfuge, determination, immigration, manipulation, mutilation, social status anxiety, incest taboo, alcoholism,narcissism and a wide variety of other themes."

Oh how I love it. Michael Cera as a munchkin is adorable <3

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Wednesday, December 01, 2010

If my life were on TV..

It's not a secret that I love reality shows. I swear I've blogged about it before (probably on my other blog somewhere), but I just skimmed over the titles and I couldn't find it.

Of all of my reality show obsessions, I can't deny that the Kardashians are my favorite. I don't know why. Maybe it's how they can do such horrible things like getting a DUI and having sex tapes leaked.. But in the end, they stick together cuz they're a family.

A lot of people relate to them, just because they go through the guy drama, family drama, work drama.. It's just on a grander scale and is in front of the spot light. I honestly can't say that I relate to them, just that they're so interesting.


Anyway, I was reading their newly released book Kardashian Konfidential today, and they were telling their life stories.. And I kept thinking about what it would be like if I were in their shoes. Not that I was Kim, Kourtney, or Khloe (hey, I would fit in as Kelsey, huh?), but if I was in their shoes as who I am.

How would the reality show look? Just put mine and my family's lives on the TV.

It's interesting to think about.

Cameras following Jenna, Selah, and I around to work, church, school, friends, home..

A camera watching me at work, as I talk, help, and deal with people. It would catch my (way too frequent) eye rolls as PEBCAC issues arise. They'd catch me laughing a lot. It'd probably cause issues (other than the distraction of a camera crew filling the office and legality issues) because you'd be ble to tell which people I enjoy helping more than others. Lol. It'd be interesting, though.

A camera following me to church would be cool. Get Pastor Mike's sermons (or snippets of them) out in the world beyond our church. It would show the amazing awesomeness of what a real, growing, God-focused church family looks like - and not the craziness that they always seem to display Christians as in the media. You'd see the genuine love for Christ and for each other. You could see that we know how to have fun. And we know how to please Christ. And I just think it'd be awesome!

Hah! A camera team following me at school would probably be really boring. It'd show me in class, reading a book behind my purse, texting under the desk, or doodling in my notebook (hey! I'm a multitasker!). It'd probably show me wide eyed at the craziness of liberal teachers and self focused fellow college students. I've lost track of how many times my jaw seems to hit the ground because of proclamations that teachers make.

I wonder what a camera would pick up when I'm with my friends. And what friends? My church friends or my school friends? Both? Would it show me acting differently around my different groups of friends? I hope not, that's something I've been working on the last few years, and I feel like I don't act differently now. It'd honestly probably show how happy I am when I mixed my worlds. It'd show how sad I get when I realize the lack of faith in a lot of my friends, and how much I love spiritual talks with any of them (believers or not).

They'd follow me to Disneyland with Phill, car rides with Nicole or Michelle, watching movies at Nick's with Mae, hanging with Ben, Phill, and Kimmie at the boys' house, and standing in line for midnight showings for hours on end.

And family time. That would be fun, actually. Like a constant streaming of home videos. It'd catch us laughing and talking. And stealing each others' food when one leaves the room and fighting over the softest blanket. It'd also show me in my room reading or on my laptop. Jenna napping on the couch. Mom sewing flags at the table. Dad reading on the couch or porch. It'd show Selah and Kenny coming over. Selah talking about baking or work, and Kenny sitting on the couch to see if there's a football game on the TV. It would rarely show us fighting or arguing. It'd probably be a good couple of seasons before you'd see any of that.


They'd probably catch a heck of a lot more - good and bad. It probably would only last a few episodes, because I don't think most people would understand, love, and enjoy my life the way that I do.

But at least it be some sweet videos for me :)

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