Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Passions to grow.

I have two new passions recently. Well, they've been something that have always been in the back of my head in one way or another, but this past year for one, and past summer for the other, my heart for these two things have just exploded.

One is adoption. And not just adoption in general, but international adoption. It's honestly one of the things that I stay up at night thinking about a lot. Like, I deeply wish I was older and married so that I could adopt 5 kids and just love on them and teach them about Jesus. Try and heal the wounds that are there, and just smother them in love. I used to always joke that I want to adopt because I can't fathom the physical pain that comes from giving birth. Oh me, oh my. I know that obviously millions and millions of women have given birth to beautiful babies successfully, and have said that it's "the most beautiful thing in the world", but it makes me want to cross my legs forever. There are some girls my age that have known their entire lives that they were meant to be moms. That it was what they genuinely believe it's God's plan for them. But I've never had that longing, that desire to have children of my own. I've always thought about how I genuinely think I'd be okay if I found out I couldn't have kids. Don't get me wrong. I love the little munchkins. I could hold them for hours and hours, and just watch them sleep. But I've never felt like actually having a baby was "for me". And I know this can change one day, but as of right now (and the previous 21 years of my life) I'm okay with not having kids with my genes.

But the idea of adoption is so amazing to me. A little over a year and a half ago, my dad's cousin adopted a little girl from Russia who has Cerebral Palsy. I read Kara's blog all the time, and I'm just so completely fascinated and in awe at how God can bring the puzzle pieces together from across the world. And how Anastasia's life is different forever because Kara and her husband followed God to pursue this beautiful girl. And actually, they're Going through the process of adopting a second little girl with CP right now.

Man, I want faith like that. I want to just trust God and be used to change someone's life by giving them a home and family. God's just completely been softening my heart towards these international adoptions recently. We'll see what He has planned as I get older. :)


And the other new passion is a passion for reaching the lost. Which, I know, is something we've been taught since birth, but this is different. This is towards a specific group of lost people. A specific "religion". I've been reading, talking to people, and praying. A lot of praying. I want to learn as much as possible about this "religion", just so that I can show them how wrong they are. How this "religion" isn't ensuring their salvation, it's ensuring their damnation. And I know that all other religions do the same thing, but I'm just really, really feeling drawn to this specific group of people recently. I totally know why, too. But I'm not posting about that, for privacy reasons. I hope that THAT's a story I can tell one day..

Anyways. God's just been laying these two things on my heart a lot lately, and it's so nice to have some specific things to be focusing on other than just work and school. He's got something in the works. No clue what it is, but I am confident that it's all in His hands, and I have no control. And I am 483% okay with that.

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