Fear

I wish I had something beautiful to write about. Well, I do. God's love is a beautiful thing. But right now, at 1 AM on a night when I have work in 8 hours.. I don't have nearly enough time to go into detail on that.. But His love is beautiful and I am ridiculously grateful for that every single day.

I guess what I could write about now is fear. Right now, I have this ridiculous fear for next week. And I know that I really shouldn't worry. He's smart, he knows what he's doing. He's going with someone that knows what they're doing. There's technically nothing to worry about. But.. There's that little piece of me that worries. What if something happens. What if they get lost. What if they eat something bad. What if they run into an animal that isn't friendly. What if they run into hunters that don't realize they aren't animals. What if a cliff shows up out of nowhere.

Wow. And now as I type that out, the fear is a lot more real, because all of that stuff could really, truly happen. And it's not just all of that happening, but it's the fact that they probably won't have cell phone service, so we won't know if anything's happening until a day or two after they were to come back. What if something happens Friday night, and since they aren't supposed to come back until the next Friday, there's no reason my fear to be spiked until the next Saturday.. But by then, it's been a week.

It's in God's hands. And I know he's not worried at all. This is me and my protective nature hating that I have no control over the situation. Which is totally fine, because it's not my life and it's something that he's been looking forward to for months. It's just weird. And nervewracking. And a freaking-out-ed-ness that I've never felt before. Or if I have, it was strictly an overnight thing. Not a week.

I went to the Philippines for two weeks, and there was never a thought in my mind about the fear of what could happen. But this is one week in northern California, with me here in Southern California.. That will involve a lot of prayer and a lot less text messages and a lot more time to myself.


Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
John 14:27

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.
Deuteronomy 31:6