My Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week.. With a smile.

To say that this week was just like any other week would be a lie. A very, very big lie.

But it's a Saturday afternoon, it's not raining at this exact second, and I can't help but laugh and be grateful.

God has a sense of humor, and if you don't think that's true, then you've been worshiping the wrong god.

We all know what a normal eyeball looks like..

Well, this was my eye on Tuesday.

I have a thing for being horrible at car maintenance.

For example, the first time I had to get my brakes changed, this is what my brake pads looked like:

And this is what a brand new brake pad looks like.

Needless to say, I haven't gotten any better at maintenance over the years.. So I got my brakes done on Wednesday (that took until Thursday) which required new brake pads and rotors on my front wheels, costing about $300.

And then.. The highlight of my week.. I got into an accident yesterday.

This is what my car looked like when I got it in August of 2007.

And this is what it looks like now.

P.S. I also put new tires on all four wheels two weeks ago.

It was ridiculously emotional to clean out my car yesterday. This was my first car. My first big purchase. The end of high school, the start of the "real world". So many memories in that car. Good and bad. And it was a ridiculous bummer.

BUT! There are some random things to be thankful for!

1 - My car registration is due in November, and I hadn't paid it yet. That's about $130 that I could have paid and would have basically gone right down the drain.

2 - I needed gas. It was going to be my first stop after work. So that's $50 I didn't spend.

3 - AAA got there very fast, so I was only in tears on the side of the freeway for about 20 minutes.

4 - It was down the freeway from work, and everyone was very willing to come help me and get me and do whatever I needed. It was so reassuring to know that if my mom or someone couldn't come help me, that I would still be in good hands.

**Sidenote: I called my office to say I'd be late/wasn't coming in before I called my mom, dad, AAA, tow truck, 911.. I'm not sure what normal protocol is there. But I feel like I probably should have called my mom first. It all worked out fine, but I still find it kind of entertaining. The other lady was asking for my driver's license, and I handed it to her and said "I'll be right back, I need to call the office".. Hahah..

5 - My mom was able to come get me. I've dealt with minor fender benders, but never has it been to the point of needing a tow truck. I had no clue where we were going to need to take my car. But my mom was able to leave where she was and come get me and handle it. There are some days when I'm super independent and think I can do everything on my own, and then there are days when I just want my mommy. Yesterday was one of those days. Love you, mom!

**Sidenote: My mom saved me on Wednesday as well when I was in tears at the brake place because they were keeping my car overnight and I didn't know how I was going to get home and how I was going to be able to keep housesitting.. And mom was able to come get me (Jenna tried, but she went to the wrong brake place.. Hahah She tried though, and I love her for it!) and figure out the plan as we were a car down.

**Extra Sidenote: On Wednesday when I called my mom to explain the brake ordeal, I was in tears, sobbing that "They have my car and I don't know what we'll do about housesitting cuz they won't give it to me and I was trying to be good and get my brakes done and.." and my mom was like "Are you okay?" and I responded "Yeah, I'm okay, BUT..".. Well, later that day my mom mentioned that when I call her in hysterics, I need to START the phone call with "I'm okay, but.." and then go into the saga. So yesterday, when I called to tell my mom I was on the side of the freeway cuz I totaled my car, I started out the conversation the way we discussed "Mom, I'm okay, but.. I was in a car accident and I can't drive it and the CHP is here and the other lady..".. That was probably a phone call where.. Well.. I kinda wasn't okay exactly.. But I started it out the right way!

6 - I wasn't injured. I have chemical burns on one of my arms from the air bags (which, if you've never experienced airbags.. consider yourself lucky. The yellow smoke and smell was almost more terrifying than the glass cracking and not knowing if my car was going to explode or not..). I also have a light bruise from the seatbelt and a little bruise on my stomach, but it's not too bad. I'm sore today a little bit, but I know it could all be a lot worse.

7 - Seatbelt and airbags! I know I just complained about the airbags, but I am thankful for them! Everything would have been a lot worse if I didn't have airbags or a seat belt!

8 - The CHP officer that came was ridiculously nice! He was very much concerned about making sure both parties involved were okay, and he could have had an attitude that could have easily made the whole thing be so much worse.

9 - I received countless phone calls, texts, Facebook messages, Tweets, emails, etc checking on me. I was exhausted after the adrenaline wore off, so if I didn't respond, I apologize. But I am so thankful for everyone that reached out! More importantly, I'm thankful for the prayers that came with the messages. Knowing that I had people praying for me was so comforting and reassuring.

10 - God was watching out for me. I have no doubt in my mind. And it's only because of Him that I can actually find the good things in this whole crummy situation. It's all a part of His plan and I can't wait to see what unfolds because of it.

I'll miss my car.. But it was just a car.

I'm fine, and I'm thankful for that!

See and download the full gallery on posterous

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Unexpected Dilemna

I went to the doctor today to have them look at my eyeballs. After she diagnosed my with conjunctivitis (aka pink eye), she asked me if I had any other health related questions.

It'd been a few years since I'd asked this particular question, so I figure I might as well take a chance, see what the new theories are.

"Well, I've had this case of the hiccups for a long time. But they're not normal hiccups.. Anything for that?"

Now, for those of you creeping on my page who haven't hung out with me in awhile or haven't been around me for more than an hour at a time.. I have the hiccups. It's not the normal hiccups that last for twenty minutes that come every 30-60 seconds. It's one or two hiccups every hour to a half hour. Every single day. Since I turned 13. I'm now 21. That's 8 years (going on 9 in February).

When I was 16, I was at the doctor at mentioned the hiccups, and the explanation was "It's just part of growing up"..

That's an acceptable excuse when I'm 16, but I'm 21 now. Time for a new reason, please.

Today, my doctor gave me a prescription! To get rid of them! She prescribed me metoclopramide. After doing some research online, there's nothing about hiccups and such. She said that they use it a lot for people that get nauseous when they eat or something. But, this is what they prescribe for people that walk into the clinic when they've had "normal" hiccups for like, a week straight and stuff.

Anyways, so I'm sitting here in bed, staring at the bottle. And I can't decide if I want to take them.

My hiccups have been a part of my life now for about 40% of my existence.

They don't define me, I know that.

And I've always been willing to try any old wives tale (drink water upside down, etc), but in the back of my head I was always going into it knowing that I wasn't expecting it to work.

But this.. It could really, really work. A doctor has given me something that could actually get rid of them.

My hiccups have always been great ice breakers.

They hold a lot of memories.. There's a duck in the tree! (haha even though those were Michelle's hiccups) Where's my brown french fry!? You just swallowed your laugh! How is that possible!?

Selah's had them for three years longer than me.. Maybe SHE should take the pills!

Hmm.. It's just weird to think about. Do I want to really take a chance at really getting rid of them?

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Bankruptcy.

I've never been impressed with the Crystal Cathedral (sure, they have a pretty building. That's about it. I'd meet in a shack on the highway if I felt the teaching was theologically sound). And I'm not even going to get into the fact that they have a female pastor.


But.. Today, they filed for bankruptcy.

I don't know what to do with that.

The wicked borrow and do not repay, but the righteous give generously.
Psalm 37:21

When you make a vow to God, do not delay in fulfilling it. He has no pleasure in fools; fulfill your vow. It is better not to vow than to make a vow and not fulfill it.
Ecclesiastes 5:4-5

Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law.
Romans 13:18


Granted, I don't know all the details. They filed Chapter 11 Bankruptcy. I've read that they're over $40 million in debt. I know their leadership has changed recently.

But I do know that when I read that they were filing for bankruptcy, my heart sank, because I can't imagine what the effect of this will be.

Maybe it will have no affect.

But I can just see tons of people out there (that are struggling financially) look and see "Hey, if a church can file for bankruptcy, it must mean that God has given us this option to get out of debt!".

Or I can see Athiests dubbing this as an example of "when you trust 'God', everything blows up in your face".

I mean, the government's in debt, and now a "megachurch" is in debt and has filed bankruptcy..

Why not everyone else?


Steve Lawson taught on Spiritual Bankruptcy (download sermon here!) at Resolved in 2009.
He reminded us that we need to admit that we are completely bankrupt without Christ. That we have failed, that our life is worthless without Him. Spiritual growth can't happen until you realize that you are Spiritually poor on your own. Filing Spiritual Bankruptcy is recognizing your own Spiritual state, to recognize that you are nothing compared to God and you have fallen short. To recognize that you have aboslutely nothing, NOTHING. Everything you have is because of Christ. Only in Spiritual Bankruptcy can you experience the fullness of God.

That's the type of bankruptcy you should file.


I didn't see any of the articles quoting Pastor Sheila saying that "this was something we prayed long and hard about". She did say "For these reasons, the Ministry now finds it necessary to seek the protection of a Chapter 11"...

A direct quote from the OC Register...
Penner, executive producer of the "Hour of Power" and teaching pastor, said the Chapter 11 may not have been necessary had a few creditors worked more patiently with the church. "A few didn't want to play ball," he said. "They tried to get ahead of the others. It became difficult for us to hold the coalition of vendors together."

I just have issues with the vendors being blamed for wanting to get paid. "A few didn't want to play ball"?... As in.. A few didn't want to wait longer and longer to get paid... Why not admit that they messed up their finances? That maybe they haven't had the right type of leadership in place to deal with the change in economy...

At another point in that same article, I feel like Penner's just making excuses..

"Churches and synagogues rely on membership fees and donations," he said. "With the tough economy, their cash flow has suffered significantly, leading to increased foreclosures and bankruptcy filings."

Most churches just rely on donations, and not membership fees.. And most humans rely on a salary, and not on membership fees and donations.. It's how churches survive. It's how everyone else survives. Businesses survive on selling things. It's how it's always been. Not a very compelling justification. And a casual way at kind of saying "well, everyone's doing it".. You're a church, you're supposed to be followers of Christ and leaders to your congregation and to nonbelievers... You should be an example to others..

I'm sad with the fact that Bankruptcy is the way they're going, and I'm disappointed in the way they're handling explaining it to the world.

My First College Football Game - Part 1

*WARNING: This is long, detailed, and full of rambling. I'm not going to
apologize, as this is my blog and I can post and type how I wish.. So I'm
just warning you :)*

Today, I experienced my first college football game. It was definitely
different from a La Quinta game - the main difference was that the team we
were supporting didn't just actually score, but they won! That never
happened in high school :)

Here's how my day went.

Actually, a little background info.

My Uncle David has been in town or the past few days, and he had some extra
tickets to the USC vs. Cal Berkley game, so he invited Selah, Jenna, Kenny,
and me. Now, Selah, Jenna, and I have spent too many hours to count at
football fields and sitting in stands.. But that was all high school and
that was all because we were in band - not because we are football
enthusiasts. Kenny, on the other hand, lives and breathes football - and not
just football, I must specify that it's the Broncos that he bleeds for. But,
we all decided to go! Huge bonus that the USC marching band is known for
being freaking amazing! Uncle David said the game was at 3:30, and that him
and his buddies always tailgate for a few hours ahead of time. So we decided
we'd leave Orange County around 12 to get there around 1.

Last night around 9, Jenna texted and said that Uncle David told her the
game time got switched to 12:30, so we adjusted our times up by 3 hours.

Back to today.

I woke up at 6AM to the sound of two dogs - Bandit and Betti - whining and
barking (I'm housesitting in Rancho Santa Margarita right now) because they
are used to getting fed as soon as the sun comes out. So I ran downstairs,
put food in their bowls, took Bandit for a walk, then crawled back into bed
to try and sleep for another two hours. However, I am convinced that at one
time Bandit swallowed a squeaky toy, because he proceeded to squeak for the
two hours I was supposed to sleep. Around 7:45 I admitted defeat and started
getting ready. Out the door by 9.

Then I got to drive two of my favorite roads in the entire world - Trabuco
Canyon and then Santiago Canyon. The drive would've been perfect (awesome on
a cold, misty morning).. Except for the three slow cars I was behind for the
entirety of the Santiago portion. It was awful. It was painful. I know I was
totally tailgating the one right in front of me. But I was frustrated that
they were ruining my beautiful morning!

Finally got through the miserable portion of the ride (I know I'm being
dramatic, let me be for the time being, please (: )

Got to Selah's house, piled into her car, and then picked up Jenna at home..
And we were officially on our way!

Introduced Selah to the beauty of the iPod Touch and all of the apps.. She
played games the entire way. Which then meant she killed my battery by the
time we got off the freeway.

As for parking, all we knew was that we were supposed to park in the
structure on the corner of Figueroa and 37th. Of course, it seems like
there's ten corners to that intersection, so confusion was the first,
second, and third emotion. Then the emotion of realization - there were only
two structures there - so it was obviously one of those! Looked at the first
one, and all of the Enter spots were locked and gates shut - hmm, guess it's
not that one! So we went to the other one, and it had the same issue -
re-enter confusion emotion.

Jenna then called Uncle David, who explained that that meant that the
structures were full (that makes complete sense.. I'm really not sure why
that didn't cross out minds.. Probably cuz of the building excitement over
the game to come...), so we needed to find a lot. We drove around and found
one right across from the Coliseum.. Only to see it was $40.. the structures
were only $25, so we knew that was obnoxious.. So we kept driving.. Around
the corner, around the block, over the river, and through the woods
later.... And Kenny pulls over into the PERFECT spot... About two miles from
the Coliseum, and in total and complete Ghettoville. The three white girls
in the car immediately protested and decided that $40 now sounded amazing!
We'll all pitch in $10, and we'll be good to go! So we drive back around,
and in the five minutes since we'd passes it the first time.. The price had
gone up $20.. Now Ghettoville was appealing. Kenny kept driving, headed for
GV, and after we drove under the freeway, we saw a sign that said "$25
PARKING!". Now THIS was perfect! Until we turned into the lot... We all
started laughing. Cuz it was so.. Well, Mexico. (See picture below. I'm not
exaggerating.) But, it was really close, and was cheaper than our ideal
spot.. So we took a chance, a leap of faith, a dash of salt over the
shoulder.. Turns out that it was $25 if you wanted a "Blocked" spot, and $35
if you want a "get out right away" spot.. Well, $35 is still less than we
were willing to spend at the $40 place.. So that's what we went with.

Now, all we have to do is find Uncle David!

We walk towards to Coliseum, and Jenna says "We're supposed to meet him at
the Olympic torch". It was at this point that I looked up and saw where we
were. We were at the Los Angeles Coliseum. I had seen the Olympic logo
beneath the name a few minutes before, but hadn't thought anything of it.
But now, NOW it clicked. This is the Coliseum where the Olympics were held!
My mind was blown for a second. I don't know why it didn't click before.
Most people probably know that the LA (Olympic) Coliseum is USC's home
field.. But we're not a sport family.. I've never watched a USC game in my
life. And the only thing I know about USC is that those are not the three
letters to mention around Matthew :).. Hahah.. So..

Made our way up to the Torch, and all I could see was crimson and gold.
Everywhere. And I realized one thing - USC was never an option for me
because I don't look good in the school colors.

Anyways, as we got closer to the Torch, I was distracted by two things that
were very unexpected. Two large, naked things. They have statutes of a naked
man and a naked woman. Lifesize. And that.. Sure, I can deal with. It's
artistic. But... They were headless... I don't get it.

Called Uncle David and told him we were standing by the naked people. While
waiting for him, the Cal marching band "marched" in (see video in previous
post). I put "marched" in quotes because.. Well.. Maybe I'm a marching snob,
but I have certain expectations. And I feel that when you're marching,
you're at attention. So you're not talking to people, you're not wiping
sweat off your face, you're not adjusting hat straps.. I was trained that if
a bee lands on your face, you ignore it. So I was disappointed to not see
that. Oh well. College bands walk to their own drum (no pun intended), and
my standards are DCI.. Oh well!

Using the naked people as the landmark worked, because Uncle David found us!
Met his friends, and headed into the Coliseum. Learned that the naked people
were "olympians". Why must they be naked and headless? I don't know. But..
That's what they are. Also learned that the game time never changed. It had
been at 12:30 the whole time, but because he's from Ohio, his phone didn't
adjust the time in his calendar to be California time. You didn't need to
know that, but oh well!

Then, we headed inside for the game.

This is a long blog. I'll continue more tomorrow.

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Cal Berkley marching band "marching" into the LA Coliseum

Download now or watch on posterous

VID 00020-20101016-1148.3GP (2057 KB)

Disappointed in their casualness, honestly..
Sent from my Blackberry :)

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A Mild Rant (take little or no offense)

Recently, I've found myself surrounded by a certain type of people.
And it's not non-Christians..
It's not unmotivated people..
And it's not selfish people..

But I'm suddenly surrounded by smokers.

Everywhere!
In all of my different circles, there's at least one person that smokes now. Sometimes more than one.

And it's driving me crazy.

Honestly, if they want to kill themselves, that's fine. There's nothing I can do about it

If they think it's cool.. Then boy, are they living in the wrong decade.

If they want to always smell disgusting.. Well, I really hope they eventually learn to use Febreeze and gum.

If they think it's attractive.. Then at least they'll probably only attract other smokers, so that'll get all smokers off the market..

There's just absolutely nothing enticing about sticking a cancer stick in your mouth. I don't get it.
I feel like I smell like cigarettes because of how often I'm around them now.

And I have never smoked or touched a cigarette, so the smell is not because I'm doing anything with them!

Why smoke?

Everyone that smokes HAS to know that it's bad for them. There's no excuse for someone to say "Oh, I didn't know it was bad".

My aunt died from lung cancer from smoking. Smoking kills.

Is it like a form of self mutilation? Is it the "big kids" way of cutting oneself? Because people that cut themselves KNOW it's bad for them, yet they still do it. And for most of them to stop, they have to get help. Hey smokers - get help! There's nothing wrong about asking for help! There's patches, gum, support groups.. Just ask!

Is smoking just a sign of someone that's weak?

If it's how you cope with things going on.. Then gosh, that's just sad, isn't it? Why not run? Or read? Or call someone? Or pray? Do something productive instead of something that's killing you.

Wear a WWJD bracelet. Would Jesus smoke? Heck no.

1 Corinthians 6 tells us that our body is a temple for the Holy Spirit. We are to HONOR God with our body. How does smoking and filling your lungs with tar honor God?

And maybe it's just me, but my opinion of people automatically decreases when I see a cigarette in their hand. And as long as they have those cigarettes as a part of their lives.. It will always be in the back of my mind, sometimes even the front. And we're supposed to live our lives above reproach.. And we should be known as living our lives relying of Christ for everything.. So if someone sees us with a cigarette in our mouth, whether it's "just to relieve stress" or not.. Well, shouldn't we be relieving our stress in a God pleasing way? Heck, why not spend the time that you're sucking tar into your lungs reading the Bible instead?

When someone smokes, it really is one of the first things I think about in association with them. My aunt died when I was in first grade, so I really didn't get to know her. However, other than explaining her actual relation to me and everyone else.. The first thing I think of is how she smoked. And how whenever we visited her and her kids, I knew that the first thing we'd be doing when we got home was taking a bath and washing everything that we'd brought down there, because they reeked of cigarettes. I wish I knew more about her. But what I do know is that visiting Aunt Sue meant that I wouldn't get to sleep with my blankie that night because it'd be in the wash.

I guess I just really, truly don't get the disgusting habit. I wish someone could explain it to me.

Mild rant. Because I'm seeing and smelling cigarettes everywhere..

And it just makes me sad.

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